Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Very, Very Angry Chicken

So, my parents left Monday for a long, relaxing week at the cabin and I volunteered to watch the animals. I mean, its not like they live on an animal farm and its relatively easy: feed, water and walk the dog, feed and water the cats, feed the chickens and pick up the eggs. As many things in life this is easier said than done. There are about 15 chickens and the last thing my mom said was, "There are two hens that are setting right now. They won't get off the roost, so the best way to get the eggs is to reach in with both hands, grab them by their hind quarters, pull them off the eggs, collect them and put the chicken back on the roost." No problem!! Having been around animals all my life and not being particularly scared of chickens altogether, I assumed this would be an easy task.

So, there I was yesterday morning. Feed, water and walk the dog. Feed the cats. Pet the cats. Feed chickens. Move chickens, collect eggs. And see, its that last part that gets me. Chicken #1 was happy to be moved. I grasped her hindquarters, pulled her from the roost and collected four eggs! It wasn't until I attempted to move chicken #2 that I hit a snag.... I brazenly reached in with both hands and grasped at her hindquarters...and she went ape shit!! Well, she pecked at my hands twice, but that was enough for me to say (at 6:10am) "Enough of this. Sit on those damn eggs all day if you want. Not like any thing's going to happen...there isn't a rooster in 10 miles from this place."
This morning I attempted the chicken extraction with renewed vigor. I reached in, grasped at the hind quarters and AGAIN she went for my tender little hands. Someone needs to have a one-on-one with her and explain no amount of sitting on those things is going to make a little chick.
Fine, one more day of sitting on those damn eggs, but after work today I'm headed there again - this time I'm putting on some of my dad's welding gloves and I MEAN BUSINESS! Those eggs are going to look good in the frittata I'm planning for breakfast this weekend. And, they'll mean more knowing I risked losing my hand to get them!

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