Monday, October 25, 2010

Voyeurism: Not Just For The Crazies!

OK. We have a lot of chickens. And by a lot, I mean we're down from our all-time summer high of 75 to a much more manageable 20 laying hens. Which means we have a lot of eggs too. The layers laid more in the summer (more light, better mood, more food, ya know - all the things that would make me happier too), but now that we're entering winter and the days are getting shorter our eggs are kind of in short supply. We only get 12 a day now!
And the average person would say, "My, your cholesterol must be through the roof eating all those eggs!" Well, don't worry - we hatched (he he. Get it? Hatched?) the perfect plan for egg liquidation: A trip to the hardware store, some plywood, paint, ice packs and and a camping cooler and you've got a shanty-town roadside egg store! We started a couple months ago (but, remember? no internet for so, so long...) and I'm totally hooked on the roadside egg stand. I mean, this is better than reality TV. (Well, it has to be since I gave up watching The Bachelorette after Ali chose Roberto instead of the obvious choice Chris from Cape Cod. What was she thinking? Anyway.)
Seriously though, Saturday we wound up with four dozen extra eggs so I put them out about 8:00am and went shopping. And they were all gone when I got back about 12:00! We sold out. Doors closed - out of product. And, get this: people are actually dropping off empty egg cartons now! We have repeat customers! Satisfied, loyal, repeat customers that have to be surveying our house constantly just waiting to pounce on the egg stand! Not once have we had someone take eggs without paying - and people can be trusted to make their own change! We actually put money in the jar to start with so people can make their own change and the system is working!
I can't profile our customers yet, but I have seen this one guy in a small dark car stop for eggs twice now. I'm considering setting up a command post to monitor the purchasing a little closer 'cause, you know, a "sign-in" sheet would just be creepy.

Todd and I both agree there's only one way to address this demand for eggs: We need to buy more chickens!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

But I'm Not Dead Yet!!!

...I KNOW what you were thinking: "Where has Rikki been?" Well, let me tell you the sad, sad story.....

First of all, I'm almost ashamed to say it out loud, but we don't have the internet at our house. I know, I know. Prehistoric. Caveman. Deprived. Call it what you will.

The real story is that ever since we had Comcast internet I can't bare to settle for anything less than ultra-super-duper-extra-fast cable internet. And dial up is our only alternative. That, and I'm too cheap to pay for satellite internet. Comcast stops 1/2 mile down the road and 11 telephone poles the other way. We live in the Comcast "dead area". True. Sad, but true.

 Then. Listen to this: they blocked my access at work!! I know. Heinous. What were they thinking? That I'd get more work done without my blog access? Now I just spend hours loafing around pining for my internet access. Can't they see the monster they've created? It's all their fault! And, to make it worse I don't even get the giant exclamation point and the warning "Accessing this site may negatively impact network performance. The Requested Internet Site May Have No Business Purpose." "Click here if you have a business reason to use this site."
No, I don't even get that - I just get the slow ascent of the green bars at the bottom of the page, leading me to believe it's loading, and then after 10 minutes I get a "Timed Out. The site or network may be too busy at this time. Please try at a later time or contact your system administrator." System administrator? Are they joking? I can't tell our IT guy that "Weird. I can't log on to my personal blog account any more during company hours. Can you look in to that for me? Yeah. Thanks. And, while you're at it, let's not mention any of this to my boss, K? Great..."

 Anyway, being the genius that I am (and by that I mean "Hey. It's only taken me 4 weeks to find a loophole in the system) I've found the way around!! I go to a different computer, log on as myself, then go to the webpage and log myself in!

 So, it's official: I'M BACK!! And there's so much to tell! More vacation pictures, pictures of the baby, and sooo many stories!