Friday, September 25, 2009

Putting the "Steam" in "Steamroller."

If you know me well enough you know my acute ability to spot the very obvious disguised in the not-so-very-obvious world. Ya know, the things most people link together in their first, say, 10 years of life and those who don't would never tell you that as adults they've just discovered something everyone else already knew.
Right. There we were, the three of us headed to the UPS store to send a fax yesterday. The whole strip mall parking lot was torn up as they were resurfacing the entire thing. We slowed for the crosswalk when I looked over and saw what appeared to be a steam roller gassing up, but there was no pump - they had the hose running right out of the side of the grocery store. Now, since my operation I have been on some pretty strong meds (like 800mg ibuprofen...) and even in my drug induced stupor I knew you don't run gas pumps out of a grocery store.
So, I say to Todd, "Are they putting gas in that thing? Or, wait, it looks like they're filling it up with water? What do you think the water's for? To weigh it down?" Because the only possible explanation for filling a steamroller with water is to weigh it down...right? Then Todd answers, "Well, they're filling it with water because its a steamroller. I think they make steam from the water."
Ah ha! I get it. Never thought about it before, but I get it now. STEAMroller. Right.
Don't even get me started about the day (last year...) I discovered the warning on hairspray "Contents Under Pressure" actually means that the internal contents are under pressure, not that the can will somehow spontaneously "content" under pressure. Subtle difference....

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Colton Daniel

Friday morning we woke up at 5:45 to get ready for our baby boy's big day. We took care of the animals and got ready to go. We dropped Griz off at Uncle Donnie's where Griz is free to sleep on the furniture and eat junk food. We got to the hospital a half hour earlier than we were supposed to and sat around waiting anxiously for our scheduled C-Section. When the time came Rikki was hauled off to the OR. The nurse came back with a blue jumpsuit for me to wear and escorted me to the OR waiting room. I had to wait till Rikki was all sedated before I was let in. The nurse came out and told me not to be alarmed over the page I am about to hear over the intercom that it was not an emergency. "Respiratory Therapist is needed in C-Section OR STAT." This OR team member was running a little behind schedule I guess. Found out later that Rikki's mom was in the cafeteria when she heard that and panicked. Poor woman. The surgery went great I got to cut the cord. Colton Daniel was born Friday morning at 10:16 weighing 8lbs 5oz and 21 inches long. Momma is doing very well after surgery. Colt came out screaming and kicking full of life. Is this a sign of things to come. Everyone is healthy and doing good.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

3 New Additions to Our Family!!

No, it's NOT triplets!!

The perfect time to add three 8-week old piglets to an ever-growing collection of farm animals is 2 days before the birth of our first baby, right?

They are so cute though! They're all from one litter and are about the size of a medium terrier now - but they grow fast! I was out last night playing with them and they're still a little timid, but two of them let me scratch their snouts and then relaxed enough for me to scratch their heads and behind their ears. They really are adorable.

And, for those of you who are wondering if we've named them: NO, we haven't! If we're having this much trouble coming up with a name for our baby do you really think we've got it together enough to name the pigs? Come on...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Canning - Therapy for Pregnant People

I don't know what it is about canning that just seems so theraputic at this point. It started out pretty innocently with 8 jars of pickles and 6 jars of pickled green beans and went out of control from there. Applesauce last weekend (12 or so jars of the regular and 12 or so with blueberries mixed in) and more pickles night before last. There's something about having a kid that put me into overdrive with the canning thing. Because normal people don't drag their husbands out of bed at 7am on a Sunday morning to pick pillowcases full of apples to convert to sauce, right?

Our pickles didn't turn out very good at all - WAY too much spice, so after the "version" fiasco the other day, thinking I totally deserved a watermelon from the fruit stand, we ended up with 20 lbs of pickling cucumbers too! We spent ALL night boiling jars of cucumbers and I'm proud to report we have a new addition of roughly 30 jars of pickles to add to our collection of canned, frozen, or otherwise stored food!

Because babies eat applesauce, plum butter and pickles, right? And as Todd pointed out: we have never once bought a jar of applesauce. Looks like everyone is getting pickles for Christmas!!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

External Cephalic Version


So, here's how I pictured my conversation with the doctor going during my last week's appointment (at 38 weeks..):

"My, Rikki, you're doing a amazing job gestating this baby. He's so happy and healthy, you look fabulous, you'll have no problem delivering, your recovery will probably be the quickest I've ever seen given your outstanding physical condition and positive attitude. He's looking fabulous and you're ready to go into labor any day now. We'll see you next week - if not sooner!! Oh, and don't forget to bring along those size 6 pants to go home in - you'll have NO problem fitting into those!"

And here's how it really went:

Nurse: "Sorry I'm running a little late...the doctor's in the hospital so I'll be doing your exam today!"

Me: "Oh, delivering a baby, huh?"

Nurse: "No, he crashed his bicycle and has pancreatitis . He's in the hospital. Well, how do you feel:"

Me: "I feel great! I could go at least another week. I don't even have the foot in my ribs anymore and I feel like I can breathe better too!"

Nurse: "Fantastic. Well, I can't tell for sure if this is a head, so at this point we'll throw you on the ultrasound and see where he's at. We don't want any surprises."

Me: "Awesome. I haven't had an ultrasound in almost 5 months - I can't wait to see what he looks like!"

Nurse: "Well, that's why you don't have foot in your ribs - his feet are way down here... When did your baby flip over? And, he's looking back towards your liver so we can't see his face either. Well, that's you have a couple of options. We can try flipping him over externally, which has some risks associated with it, or, how do you feel about a C-section, say, next Thursday?"

So, there I was: sans Todd (because, it was, after all, only a checkup to tell me how great I was doing...) and totally sideswiped with this untimely change of events. Hmm. That's exciting.

Nurse: "Well, here's some information, talk to your husband, call us tomorrow. We'll need to do the version soon if that's what you want to do."

Me: "Uhh. OK."

So, that's how we got involved in the External Cephalic Version, simply called "version". We scheduled it for Monday and after three VERY painful and completely unsuccessful attempts with me strapped up to an IV pole, prepped in the hospital (in case we had to do an emergency C-section) we landed ourselves a one way ticket to a planned C-section this Friday morning. I am convinced now that when a doctor says, "You'll experience a certain amount of discomfort." That is actually code for: "This is going to hurt like HELL during the procedure and be tender for days afterwards."

The little guy (who still remains nameless...) somehow over the course of Labor Day weekend turned completely around and is now anchored solidly in the breech position. They couldn't even tip him! So, in a very anti-climactic finish to an otherwise very un-eventful pregnancy, we're going to waddle myself into the Childbirth Center this Friday morning with an appointment to meet baby at 9:30 on the 18th.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Practice, Practice, Practice....

Monday I spent a significant amount of time totally consumed with dismantling, washing, wiping and reassembling the car seat. Why you ask? Because that's just one of the psycho things I do these days: take totally normal, functioning things and completely dismantle them because they just haven't been cleaned in a long time.

Right. Like the time I moved the washer and dryer out and was in the process of shop vac-ing and wiping up the lint... because normal people do that. When Todd asked, "What, exactly, are you doing?", my only response was, "Cleaning the was dirty?" He then proceeded to help extract me from behind the dryer - because I had wedged myself in there so far I was lucky we didn't have to call Medivac to cut me out.

I digress.....the car seat. So, in some pregnancy-induced panic attack I realized that if we were to arrive at the hospital, have the kid, and then then try to load him into the car seat to go home we would have no idea how to work the damn thing. Not to mention the car seat bases aren't even installed in either of the cars, so we couldn't leave anyway. Well, I wasn't about to look like a MORON trying to buckle the kid in to leave, so naturally the only thing to do was completely disassemble the seat (to inspect every strap, buckle and clasp for defects), remove all fabric coverings (to clean, sanitize, press, etc.), get a feel for what we were getting into and then put it all back together again.
Somewhere along the way I decided one of the crotch buckles on the 5-point harness thing was flipped the wrong way. You know, like when the seat belt buckle in the car gets twisted and the metal clasp is pointed the wrong way so you have to wear the seat belt with a twist in the lap belt part? That irritates me so badly that I wasn't even willing to let the poor little kid endure the mental anguish of a "flipped belt", so I pulled the straps out too.

A good 2 hours later, with the whole thing pulled apart on the floor and Todd practically begging me to come to bed, I finally gave in and called it a night. I layed there until I was sure Todd was asleep and when I was convinced he had dozed off, I got back up and headed BACK to the car seat. Not even sleep deprivation could keep me from it. I mean, what if we had the baby tonight? We would be totally ill prepared to take him home. Satisfied that I had conquered the car seat I called it a night. Total time spent "fixing" car seat: nearly 5 hours.
Then, yesterday after work, just to prove that I could work it I gathered two stuffed animals: one small one (to represent the newborn) and one slightly larger one (to represent a 2-3 month old) and put them in and out of the seat, adjusting the buckles appropriately and practicing loosening and tightening all the straps. I can adjust the crotch strap and cinch that baby up so fast the hospital staff is going to be amazed!!

And all of this "Because we don't want to look like idiots when we go to take him home." Right. Because there are a lot of things that look worse than some 9 month pregnant lady feverishly buckling and unbuckling a FRICKING STUFFED TOY from a car seat. I fear I have reached a new low.

However, I must say, when I showed Todd how adept I had become at moving the "baby" in and out of the seat and insisted he practice too, he did humor me by removing the "newborn" and replaced it with the "bigger baby." Obviously his learning curve peaks sharper than mine.

And......No Baby!!!

It's true: we're back from vacation, safe and sound, with the baby still on the inside!! Try as we might, we just can't get the baby to come out any sooner than he wants to.

There was one moment during out 4 day stay when I thought would just be oh so NOT the right time to have a baby.....the first 3 days were beautiful and peaceful and we were able to enjoy walks, bike rides and Todd and my dad spent a decent amount of time fishing. Then, Saturday night, a huge rain/winstorm blew in.

Todd and my dad thought it was the perfect time to take the car for a drive and explore some back-woods gravel driveway they had found earlier that day. My mom and I were hanging at the cabin and I was doubled over some pillows on my bed trying to stretch my back. The somewhat "rustic" sleeping arrangements left a nerve in my back pinched and at times it seemed like it would drop me without warning. So, there we were: my mom (who was partially convinced I was having back labor...and had actually started worrying me too..) and I shacked up in the cabin with the car and guys gone when the power went out. Great. Just great. That would have been the time - but no. All 3 of us made it back just like we had left.