External Cephalic Version

Jigga-what???

So, here's how I pictured my conversation with the doctor going during my last week's appointment (at 38 weeks..):

"My, Rikki, you're doing a amazing job gestating this baby. He's so happy and healthy, you look fabulous, you'll have no problem delivering, your recovery will probably be the quickest I've ever seen given your outstanding physical condition and positive attitude. He's looking fabulous and you're ready to go into labor any day now. We'll see you next week - if not sooner!! Oh, and don't forget to bring along those size 6 pants to go home in - you'll have NO problem fitting into those!"

And here's how it really went:

Nurse: "Sorry I'm running a little late...the doctor's in the hospital so I'll be doing your exam today!"

Me: "Oh, delivering a baby, huh?"

Nurse: "No, he crashed his bicycle and has pancreatitis . He's in the hospital. Well, how do you feel:"

Me: "I feel great! I could go at least another week. I don't even have the foot in my ribs anymore and I feel like I can breathe better too!"

Nurse: "Fantastic. Well, I can't tell for sure if this is a head, so at this point we'll throw you on the ultrasound and see where he's at. We don't want any surprises."

Me: "Awesome. I haven't had an ultrasound in almost 5 months - I can't wait to see what he looks like!"

Nurse: "Well, that's why you don't have foot in your ribs - his feet are way down here... When did your baby flip over? And, he's looking back towards your liver so we can't see his face either. Well, that's interesting..so you have a couple of options. We can try flipping him over externally, which has some risks associated with it, or, how do you feel about a C-section, say, next Thursday?"

So, there I was: sans Todd (because, it was, after all, only a checkup to tell me how great I was doing...) and totally sideswiped with this untimely change of events. Hmm. That's exciting.

Nurse: "Well, here's some information, talk to your husband, call us tomorrow. We'll need to do the version soon if that's what you want to do."

Me: "Uhh. OK."

So, that's how we got involved in the External Cephalic Version, simply called "version". We scheduled it for Monday and after three VERY painful and completely unsuccessful attempts with me strapped up to an IV pole, prepped in the hospital (in case we had to do an emergency C-section) we landed ourselves a one way ticket to a planned C-section this Friday morning. I am convinced now that when a doctor says, "You'll experience a certain amount of discomfort." That is actually code for: "This is going to hurt like HELL during the procedure and be tender for days afterwards."

The little guy (who still remains nameless...) somehow over the course of Labor Day weekend turned completely around and is now anchored solidly in the breech position. They couldn't even tip him! So, in a very anti-climactic finish to an otherwise very un-eventful pregnancy, we're going to waddle myself into the Childbirth Center this Friday morning with an appointment to meet baby at 9:30 on the 18th.