Tuesday, March 23, 2010

How To Tell You've Gone From Hot Mama To Just Mommy...

I was thinking the other night there are just sooo many things that are different in my life post-baby. Todd and I have an amazing life, with an amazing son and an amazing support system. But, things just aren't what they used to be. They're better. I've begun to tabulate the entirely true, somewhat hilarious differences.

  1. Pony tails are so in-style right now. All other 'dos are just asking to be pulled at.

  2. Earrings - no more. See Rule #1: just asking to be pulled at.

  3. Sleeping past 6am? History. In fact, isn't that some mythical tale that only comes true when you're in college?

  4. Purse size. Current volume is pushing the cubic feet mark. Case and point: I used to be able to carry my wallet and chapstick in my purse. My new-improved mommy purse (thank you Amy!) inventory includes: wallet, chapstick (2), lip gloss, keys, cell phone, gum, bottle of Tylenol (need I explain?), travel wipes, spare diapers (2), day planner (things are a little busier than they used to be), reusable fold-up bag, bib and string of what my parents call "chain link." (The plastic linking toy thing.) If neccessary I can also fit a bottle (complete with rice warmer - thank you Alisa!), change of clothes, hat and slippers. My family can overnight with this purse.

  5. Periods. What are those? You know you've gone full circle when you're more worried about getting one these days than missing one... definately one of the cooler aspects of being pregnant and breastfeeding.

  6. Bras with prints on them. Because nursing bras, although functional, are just not very sexy.

  7. Excess abdominal skin and it's super-cool self-folding action. Just one more reason to sit up straight. And do Pilates.

  8. The sweat that forms where my boobs rest on my ribs. Enough said. Sad, sad, sad. Nothing Bellevue Plastic Surgery can't fix. Not that I've checked in to it. Twice.

  9. Clothes with barf on them. Previously I had only experienced this the morning after a really good dorm party.

  10. Friends. Not so much. The ones with kids, yes. The others. Well, they usually stay up past 7pm. And we don't. Maybe on Fridays...right.

  11. Having a meal together. Good luck with that one. (Actually, since Colt's started going to bed at 6:00 we've been able to enjoy quite a few nice, quiet meals together. I think we're the exception though.)
  12. Mom-mobile. Taking the subwoofer out of my trunk to fit the stroller in was one of the first of many blows to my ego. I swear I'm only one more kid away from a minivan. And the thought makes me shudder.
But, seriously, I wouldn't change it for the world.

1 comment:

  1. Yeah, who knew the underside of your boobs could sweat so damn much?!? And, by the way, your mommy purse is adorable--at least you aren't resorting to calling those canvas reusable shopping bags a 'purse'. (Not that I would ever do that.) Love this blog entry, as every single item is so TRUE.