Thursday, May 6, 2010

Farm Fun!

So, Tuesday morning I send Todd off to work. I have Tuesdays off and I usually spend it catching up on housework, cleaning, dishes, laundry, organizing, playing with the baby, etc. Usually Todd does all the animal chores in the morning and I tend to the other animal - Colt. However, on Tuesdays we (Colt and I) usually sleep in (until around 6:00am...), have breakfast, coffee (you heard it here first - I'm back on the sauce...) and watch some toons. Tuesdays are also Todd's "free day" because I do all the animal chores after he's left for work.

Instead of sleeping in though, I was up by 5:30 with a lean, mean, housecleaning routine planned for the day. By 7:00 I had: swept, swiffered and mopped the house, unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded it, started two loads of laundry, folded a load, planned my grocery list, eaten breakfast, fed the baby and vacuumed our bedroom. Sweet, huh!? I also had some phone calls to make, but decided to wait until after 8:00am to do that.

So, I head to the barn to start the chores with the baby on my back. First stop: chicken brooders. I notice their heat lamp isn't on and I opened the lid to find the heat lamp blown into a million pieces scattered about the bottom of the brooder. It had literally exploded everywhere. And who knows how long it was out, because all the chickens were shivering! Shards and glass bits were everywhere - in their food, on the floor, in their water. It was terrible. I spent about 30 minutes cleaning that up and installing a new light wondering how many would die from internal bleeding do to glass ingestion. (Chickens aren't the smartest things I've ever met.)

All was well with the horse, donkey and laying hens, so that was a relief. But, when I make it to the goats (remember they're currently housed in the chicken coop) I notice that Ronald (who is not in the coop) is limping around the field. Great. Broken goat. Just what I need. Upon further inspection I notice the rope around his neck (which almost reaches the ground and has a knot at the end) is caught between his two little cloven hooves. He's pulled the rope tight against his toes because it doesn't quite reach the ground when he steps. So, every time he take a step it pulls his head down when he tries to put his foot down. Troublesome, obviously. He's limping around the field doing this head-bob-foot-limpy-thing. I decide (with the baby strapped to my back, obviously..) to wage a one-manned mission to remove the rope from Ronald's neck. (Doesn't every good farm story seem to start with the baby strapped to my back?)

What actually happened was me chasing the poor goat (who wanted absolutely nothing to do with me or my baby) twice around the field as he attempted to trot with his toes hung up on the rope, pulling his head down every time he took a step. I acknowledged the futile mission and went back to the house - leaving Ronald to his own devices, but making a mental note to remind Todd it was imperative we remove the rope.

The rest of the day went as per usual. Kinda. My brother stopped by later that afternoon and was helping me move the chicken coops and repair some fence when he says, "What's Griz got? A rat?" Griz had followed us into the field and found something to gnaw on. All things considered, the rat seemed better than his usual 3-course meal of horse poop, chicken poop and cow poop. However, upon further inspection I made a grizzly discovery. Griz had found and was chewing up the wayward cow-castration byproduct. For those of you unfamiliar with cow castration....let me enlighten you.

Step 1. Catch bull calf.
Step 2. Either a) heavily sedate said bull calf or, b) corner, tie up or otherwise incapacitate the calf.
Step 3. Place large elastic band around their manhood.
Step 4. Release "strapped" calf and allow to wander until banded manhood falls off never to be seen of again.

I'm sure those of you who have been following the blog remember last year's episode of castration and the disaster that ensued. Therefore, we had them banded before purchasing them. This did not, obviously, prevent Griz from finding that little bit of heaven laying around the field.



  1. Oh Rikki your life is so funny!

  2. Please stop making me laugh so hard I pee my pants while at work. Please. ;-)