Monday, December 7, 2009

When Drunk in Public Meets Public Transportation... and why that's not always a good thing.

Before I get to the meat of the story, let me just say this weekend was amazing on so many, many different levels. Might I showcase today's blog with some of the good highlights:

  1.  Friday night Todd and I went on our first "date" and left Colt with his aunt and uncle. We weren't anticipating staying out too late but ended up having so much fun, stayed out far past our bedtime (of 8pm) and had perhaps a little too much alcohol. But, what an occasion: first date after our first born!

  2. I got our Christmas tree. I know, I know...this is a lot of people's favorite part of Christmas. Todd and I usually skip Christmas though but figured we'd do it up for the baby. Remember last year? Cancun? The sun, the sand, the surf, the booze? The baby due 9 months TO THE DAY after Christmas? Not falling for THAT one again... The tree is still on the deck waiting to be brought inside and decorated. We're already WAY ahead of where we were last year.

  3. Colton slept through the night. TWICE.

Now, onto the perhaps not-so-fun yet still totally entertaining part of the weekend:

As an early Christmas gift Todd was invited by a vendor from work to attend the Seahawks game yesterday afternoon. Kevin lives in the Seattle area and Todd was to meet him near the stadium before the game. Amtrak trains run from Bellingham on a perfect schedule to and from the game. I dropped Todd off yesterday morning and was to return for him at 9pm last night. That's pretty late for us here in Smeltzerville but there I went: me (in my pajamas), the dog and the baby.
About 2 miles from the train station I get a call from a "Restricted" number and I answer anyway.
"Is this Rikki?"
"Uh. This is Officer Thompson with the Mt. Vernon police department. We have your husband Todd here."
"Right. He's on the train." Because this prank smelled of Todd from the beginning: Get some unsuspecting train rider to call his wife and pretend he's been arrested.
"I'll let Todd explain what's going on here."
Me: "What the %#^ is going on?"
Todd: "I don't know. I went to get chowder and a hot dog, then I was still hungry and I went again, then they kicked me off the train and called to police."
Office Thompson: "We've got him here at the train station but I'm afraid to leave him here because it's so cold. If we take him to Denny's to get some coffee can you pick him up there? He says he doesn't have any money for coffee."
WTF? "Is he drunk?"
"Hold on.....'Todd, are you drunk?'"
"Uh, yes. He's says he's drunk. But he's walking around. Not really the level of drunk we usually deal with I guess."
"Um sure. I'll be right there."

So, I got back on the freeway and headed to Mt. Vernon to pick up my drunk husband who somehow got himself kicked off the train. Meanwhile, Todd and the officers are all buddy-buddy.
"Hey, Todd, I bet you're around a 0.12%. Wanna blow a breathalizer and see how close I am?"
"I bet I am - that's why I'm not driving! I know I'm drunk..Is this a trick? Are you going to arrest me?"
"No man, just try it!"
"OK. Hey look - 0.12%. Pretty good." He even got to keep the souvenier blow parts. Neat, huh?

The thing was when I got there he wasn't that drunk. He definately couldn't drive, but he wasn't belligerent or angry or stumbling. Just kinda drunk and wanted to go home. But, he absolutely stunk of gin but insisted he hadn't been drinking any gin. So I'm thinking "What was his blood alcohol content when he got ON the train three hours ago?" No wonder they called the cops. That, and he was dressed like a homeless man for the cold football game: Undershirt, T-shirt, hoody, jersey and a tattered blue, wool snap-up jacket, ball cap and gardening gloves. (I think it was the gloves that gave him away, but they were all we had...)

Now, remember how I just blogged about my car that needs new back brakes? The ones that get replaced tomorrow that the guy assured me would be alright to drive on "for short trips."?? Like to Bellingham and back - not Mt. Vernon and back?? Right. So, like so many other blogs start: There we were: me, the dog and the baby in the car when......blah blah blah. Luckily my tire didn't burst into flames on our way back. But then, would it really have surprised anyone if it had?


  1. You are a really nice wife, I dont know if I would have been as nice as you were. I think it is a good think that we dont drink... :)

  2. HA! Love this. And Heather is right, you ARE way nicer than I am. It would have taken me weeks to see the humor in that whole situation. ;-)