Sunday, October 25, 2009

Late Night TV

On a particularly hard I'm-not-ready-for-bed-yet kinda night, Colton and I were up watching some late night TV. And by late night, I mean anything that's on after 8pm, because that's bedtime around our house. Todd had to work early, so in consideration of his ever-dwindling sleeping hours, Colt and I parked it in front of the TV. I'm a big fan of the "Life in the ER" and Discovery Health stuff which Todd isn't too into watching so I thought it would be a good time to catch up on some of that "quality" programming.
As a side note: I'm totally convinced there is some weird biological mechanism at work which TOTALLY shuts off all of the horrible memories of being pregnant right after you give birth. This is what secures the future of our race because if anyone could remember what it was like being pregnant: the peeing, the strained ligament (remember the peas on my crotch), the wardrobe malfunctions, the aching pains, the sore joints, the lack of booze, the I-can't-eat-that, the not being able to get comfortable, the body pillows, the pounds and pounds you pack on NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would have another kid. Therefore, there is something that suppresses those feelings deep within you and you can actually start thinking having another would be a GOOD idea.
Even before I had Colt I could identify this happening to other people and SWORE it would not happen to me. That said, a co-worker commented the other day about how different I look now and asked me if I could remember what it was like being pregnant. I remember complaining a lot, but other than that....I can't really remember a whole lot. In fact, I said to him, "Yeah, it wasn't really that bad I guess." WTF?? Did that really come out of my mouth? Near the peak of the pregnancy I can remember swearing I would never do this again. Obviously even the strongest willed are sucked in by biological mechanisms. Dammit anyway.
So, I thumbed through the Discovery and TLC channels, but was totally horrified by the programming on ALL my favorite channels. Biology may be able to erase the feelings that being pregnant wasn't that bad, but man, TLC and Discovery will remind you exactly what it was like. No joke, the titles of the first six programs I looked at were: Pregnant and Obese, Paralyzed and Pregnant, Mystery Diagnosis: When Being Pregnant Can Kill You, I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, Trauma in the Maternity Ward and some special on preemies. It was a sign from above. I can see that now. Thank God Colt went to sleep quickly. I was up the rest of the night thinking about what it would be like to be pregnant and paralyzed, but at least he was asleep. Creepy.

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