- The blue and black polka-dotted shirt with the ties in the back. Ya know, the one who's ties ended up in the toilet water the first time I wore it? It's only redeeming quality was the fact that it's plunging neckline made my already large boobs look even bigger.
- The black snap-strap summer dress. Remember the one that cut loose as I got out of the car at the dealership leaving me totally exposed as the salesperson came over??
- The jeans with the huge tan fake stomach like front panel? I mean, why do they even make those? Have they ever held any one's pants up? Or, is everyone else like me: in a constant state of hiking the pants back up to where they're supposed to be?
- A white cotton shirt worn at the very end of my pregnancy that looks more like a boat sail with pockets sewn on the front. It really would have been cute, say, 10 sizes smaller!!
- The yoga pants. They were total high waters and the waist band was like 10 inches wide.
The only thing I was really sad to see go was the one pair of maternity jeans I found for $4.99 at Value Village that were already broken in, fit amazingly and had the small 2 inch elastic waistband sewn the whole way around. They were awesome. Sad to see them go.
All things are safely stored now. I was inclined to send them straight to the Goodwill, but I'm a firm believer there's this biological mechanism in all women that somehow allows us to block out all the sleepless nights, the frequent peeing, the constant crying (not just the baby....) and the aches and pains and somehow we end up with more than one kid. So, somewhere down the line those clothes might make it back into the house, but for now they will live in the garage!!