Sunday, January 13, 2013

Cats: They're A Lot Like Humans. Kinda.

The scene: Friday morning, 5:50am. I'm in a hurry to get to work. I woke up with a kid sleeping in my bed because he wet his bed in the middle of the night, woke up and relocated to my room.

So, with the exactly 3 minutes I had to spare that morning, I managed to strip Colt's soaking wet, pee-infused bed down to the plastic mattress pad and toss everything in the washing machine. I silently high-fived myself because now, instead of having that to do when I got home that night, it would already be washed and ready for the dryer....I'm SUCH a multitasker!!

I gathered my coffee, my bags, my lunch, his bags, his lunch, my coat, my keys and headed out to warm up the car. Upon my return to the house to fetch the wee one I heard the distinct sound of a cat covering something up  in the litter box. Only, this noise was coming from the wrong end of the house. See, the litter box is in our bathroom, on the far east end of our house, and this was definitely coming from the far west end of the house. I headed off to explore.

And what did I find you wonder? Apparently Bro, our cat, had sensed the fact that Colt's bed magically overnight had gone from habitation location to giant litter box. I mean, why else would it be sopping in pee smell? The little boy peed here (forgot to cover it up - bad boy!) and then ran off somewhere else. Yes! It's true! This IS the biggest litter box EVER! And she had taken a giant crap right on the spot where he'd peed! AHHHHHHHH.

To rub salt in the wound, (after all, I was already running late, why not clean up a steaming pile of cat shit now anyway?) I came in right at the very moment when she'd discovered that plastic mattress covers are not at all like kitty litter and really don't "cover" very well. Even though she'd discovered that plastic doesn't give her quite the coverage she was hoping for, it didn't stop her from trying. She had ripped that thing to shreds trying to cover her giant dookie.

So, there I was: 6:10am, staring a cat dead in the eyes, and the only thing between us was a shredded plastic sheet covered in kid pee and cat shit. Awesome. This is awesome.