Wow. So That Hurt Pretty Bad.

While I was at the mall today exchanging the gross of shirts I purchased for Todd I thought to myself, "Self, you deserve an eyebrow wax." I consider getting my eyebrows waxed a non-necessity - somewhat of a "splurge" - because truly its nothing I can't accomplish with some time and a good set of tweezers. I've only had it done twice before but today was a special day! Luxury!

So, I head off to the salon. The lady behind the desk says, "What can I do for you?", to which I say, "I was wondering if you had time for an eyebrow way?" She ushered me in to the back room and sat me down...and in her very accented voice says, "Oh..eyebrow wax? You want lip wax too?" Kind of offended, I scoff, "No!" But then, very secretly begin thinking, "Wait. Do I need it waxed? Why would she ask if I didn't? Is my lip really hairy or something?" So, I say to her, "Uhh. I've never had it waxed before...do you think I need it done?"

Ah. Silly Rikki. Never ask someone you're paying if they think you need more work. She pulls in for a close up - seriously - inches from my face, then draws back and says, "Hmmm. Oh yeeesss. You need lip waxed!" And I wasn't sure if I was more offended by her response or horrified to have been running around looking like Chewbacca this long!!

I (silly Rikki) asked "Does it hurt?" To which she replied, "Not more than eyebrows." So, I think to myself "Crap. That really hurts. I bet this is really going to hurt." And it did. I was obviously the first waxing of the day because she had to heat the wax up in the microwave so it was like fresh napalm on my face. Awesome. Thank God I wore a hat to the mall so I could kinda hike my red mustache and the red rings around my eyebrows. I looked like a fool.

Four hours later (after the redness has subsided) I kinda like the outcome. By man, it did hurt!

Wardrobe Malfunction: Take Two.

So, I arrive home yesterday with a fresh batch of shirts to complete Todd's wardrobe makeover. He goes to try them on and every single one of them look like they were painted on. The sleeves of some of them were so small they wouldn't even stretch over his arms.

So, moral of the story is: According to me, Todd is as wide as he is tall (the great pant accident) and his upper body is that of a 12 year old.

So, I'm off to the store again... to exchange the shirts.

Oh No You Didn't...

I've often wondered what it would be like to be a guy and buy clothes or underwear for your girlfriend/wife. You could never win that one. Really. If you buy something that's too big then she's going to say, "How huge do you think I am? A-hole." And, if you get too many sizes too small she'd say, "You have unrealistic ideas about my size." and feel like a heifer for months. If you buy the right size she'd be mortified to know someone other than the dry cleaner knew her real size. Any way you cut it you'd lose.

So, what was I thinking trying to buy Todd some new jeans today? Really. Let's set the scene: me, at Costco (who shops retail these days?), combat shopping with my parents and the cranky baby. (A cold weather snap is like the end of the world around here and everyone and their mother rushed to Costco this afternoon to fill up on canned goods. I swear.) Todd is in desperate need of new jeans an I found two great, reasonably priced pairs and threw them in the cart. Some could argue I'm not, umm, "detail oriented", but I was totally sure I had the right size.

I arrive home, proud of myself, and sure Todd would love his new jeans. He walks in and I show him my prized possession: his new pants! Da-dah!!

..and the silence...and the head shaking..and the "How short and fat do you think I am?"  "Jigga-what?" Obviously not the "Thanks so much! How did you remember what size I wore? You're amazing." stuff I had imagined.

Apparently my take on Todd's size and Todd's real size are very different. A simple slip of the mind (not that my mind is slipping...) And, to top it off "You've bought the wrong size the last three times!!"

You Know You Play Too Much XBox Live....

...when your baby wants to wear your headset around the house and the only way to avoid a 6:00am meltdown is to let him wear it in the car. And that, my friends, is when you know you play too much XBox.

(Actually, its really cute. He thinks he's a rock star with a headset microphone and dances around with that thing on his head. I'll try to get some video of him and post it.)

On a side note: look who discovered KETCHUP!!! Mmmmm.

A Little Boy and His Dog.

Colt loves Griz, that's for sure. "Dizzy" and "Dog" were two of his first words! Kissy kissy!!